Makeover

So many things going through my mind lately, I figured, why not just do a brain dump on my blog? In part, Ted is my inspiration for this one as I feel some truth coming on. I am struggling with some "delayed after effects" from the accident. At first I felt that it was a blessing in disguise. I mean who wouldn't want to stay home and not work? This seems like a very simple question but for me it is loaded. Lately, I am finding that I derived a lot of my confidence from that job. I was climbing up the "ladder," I pictured myself retiring from there, I felt a part of that family. A family that I have not heard from at all. Writing that really made my heart race and the tears well up. So, now all of that is gone and I don't know what to do with myself. I feel lost. Like I left me there up on that hill. Every day I have some new idea that might help me be happy with this hand that I have been dealt. Because that's all it is, a losing hand. The next deal may just be the winning one, but I'm still holding on this one. My cards need a makeover. So, since I don't know where to start I will be seeking the help of a professional. Why is that so hard to admit? Well, there it is and I will keep you posted, I promise. Thanks for reading and my hope is that the next few posts won't be such a downer.

Phreds

This post is a tribute to my dear cousin/sister/friend Michele. At some point during high school we came up with the nickname Phred and it stuck. We are Phreds. What that means exactly:



Practically the same person

Hysterical

Resilliant

Earn more sessions by sleaving

Devoted

Silly



Michele and I grew up together and she is almost 1 year older than me. Our moms are sisters and my mom was too young when she had me and in the begining her mom was doing it all by herself. So, naturally they spent a lot of time together, which meant Michele and I did too. Our moms rock! Thank you to them for being the original Phreds. I love Michele as though she were my twin. We do crazy things like twins do - say the same thing at the same time, pick up the phone to call and before dialing one or the other is already there, buy the same things even tho we are 3,000 miles apart, etc. My childhood memories are filled with giggle fits, secrets, and bad hair all of which we shared.



As adults, we still giggle like madwomen, and cry nearly every time we talk on the phone. The distance between us are only miles, but it sure would be nice to be able to walk next door and have a cup of coffee with my Phred like we always dreamed we would as kids. Sometimes I want to rebel against the inevitable; responsibilities, finances, etc. and drop everything to go see her. Especially now when our problems have changed from boyfriends, Cure concerts and chicken coops to parenting, health and jobs. Even if time passes and we don't have the chance to talk, she is always in my thoughts. I think that is what makes us a great pair, we understand eachother because we think about eachother.



Love you Phred.

Feel bad about yourself...

that is what the media would like you to do. You are a fat lazy slob and we want to capitalize on your self hatred. That is the diet industry's new years resolution. I have struggled with my weight for years and I am fed up. I refuse to buy into the idea that I am a bad person because I am overweight. I choose to eat healthy and tivo all the shows I love so that I can fast forward through the plethora of weight loss ads. There is no answer in a pill. We all know what we need to do but with all the crap that is going on in the world, who wants to spend their life thinking about everything that they put in their mouth. Not me. I just want to be happy and healthy. For years I have felt that the only way that I can truly be happy is to be thin. Sure, it wouldn't hurt my self esteem, but what about all of the other things in my life?

The answer is; I am truly blessed. I have Eric, he is a brilliant, tender, funny, sexy man and my best friend. We make and awesome team and though marraige isn't easy, we still have fun together. I have Jake, who not only changed my life when he was born, but still challenges me to be a better person every day. He makes us so proud. He is really becoming an amazing person. I have my wonderful family. The true foundation of my life. The people that have been there for me though all the tough times. Thank you to you all.

I refuse to let these extra pounds get me down anymore.

So here is my plan; I am going to use this blog to keep you all updated with my life, but also explore what it means to eat healthy. Like Eric's blog, there will be recipes and pics, but also healthy snacks and alternatives to my favs.

Let me know if you try anything posted here and feel free to make suggestions. Thanks for reading!