Makeover

So many things going through my mind lately, I figured, why not just do a brain dump on my blog? In part, Ted is my inspiration for this one as I feel some truth coming on. I am struggling with some "delayed after effects" from the accident. At first I felt that it was a blessing in disguise. I mean who wouldn't want to stay home and not work? This seems like a very simple question but for me it is loaded. Lately, I am finding that I derived a lot of my confidence from that job. I was climbing up the "ladder," I pictured myself retiring from there, I felt a part of that family. A family that I have not heard from at all. Writing that really made my heart race and the tears well up. So, now all of that is gone and I don't know what to do with myself. I feel lost. Like I left me there up on that hill. Every day I have some new idea that might help me be happy with this hand that I have been dealt. Because that's all it is, a losing hand. The next deal may just be the winning one, but I'm still holding on this one. My cards need a makeover. So, since I don't know where to start I will be seeking the help of a professional. Why is that so hard to admit? Well, there it is and I will keep you posted, I promise. Thanks for reading and my hope is that the next few posts won't be such a downer.